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Or I'll Die T-ShirtA wonderfully deadpan illustration in cream ink against the heather black tee, featuring a solemn, slightly grumpy frog clutching an armful of yarn cakes to its chest like the world's most precious hoard. One little bit of yarn trails loose from its grasp, because of course it does. The frog's flat, unimpressed stare is the whole joke: this is not a request, it is a survival requirement. The bold block letter caption underneath spells out the dramatic

lavender and white

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The dinosaur appears to be sprinting frantically across a scrubby grass ground line

The entire composition is contained within the shape of a heart — but far from a conventional Valentine's heart

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• Reinforced double-needle stitching throughout (like the Kitchener of seams)